Adonai Tzhak

I found what I want but he belongs to someone else.

Pretend

When I was in high school, I had a huge crush on the guy who sat in front of me in most of my classes. (Our names went in order alphabetically.) Over those four years I tried many different tactics to get him to like me. He was not amenable to any of them. Finally, sometime in 12th grade I said something to him along the lines of "How do I have to change to get you to like me?"

I can't remember what his response was. I'm sure it wasn't positive. What really surprised me was the responses of my female friends. I was told that I should "never, ever change for a boy."

I have never forgotten that incident and over the years I have tried to follow my friends' advice.

I can't say it has worked all that well.

Over the past year, I have dated (sorry, hung out with) a bunch of different people. The last misadventure ended with me being called the following things:
1. Difficult
2. Complicated
3. Intense
and my favorite number 4: aware of what I want.

I am definitely all of those things and I'm not of the opinion that they are necessarily bad. However, my main issue is that I have difficulty hiding them. When I am...hanging out with someone, I'm not the best at hiding the less attractive aspects of my personality.

I don't play the game.

If I like you, I call you. And if you like me, I want you to call me. Not wait 3 days (or whatever.) I'll let you know that I want to see you. I'll answer your emails right away.

Apparently--this is all wrong. I'm not supposed to call. I'm not supposed to answer emails. I'm supposed to be doing something else when you suggest we go to dinner.

I am supposed to pretend I am someone else. Someone who doesn't like you and is sort of rude.

Perhaps my friends were wrong in high school. What they really meant was "change until you get the boy."

Reading

For some reason, I haven't been able to read books recently. I pick them up, get about half-way through, and put them down. I've tried everything from The Inheritance of Loss by Kiran Desai to Dan Brown's Digital Fortress. Yes, really. They are both on my bedside table at the moment. But I just don't feel...it. That irresistible pull that drives you to finish a novel.

It's probably back to Ursula Le Guin and Tamora Pierce for me.

Books

I am a big fan of books. This probably isn't surprising since I'm a librarian. However, the job of a most librarians these days has less to do with books and more to do with information. I also think the codex is one of the most perfect inventions ever. It hasn't been much imporoved upon in the past few hundred years.

The whole idea of a "book" is one I thought was pretty stable until last Saturday when I read the Invention of Hugo Cabret. Brian Selznick has exploded the entire notion of how one reads a book. The book is almost entirely made up of pictures. Yes, there are children's books like that but this is a book for young adults and the story is quite complicated. It's like reading a movie.

Watch the opening slide show to see. And then get the book.

Star Wars

I am Star Wars Chick. I have been a Star Wars fan for as long as I can remember. I was only one when the first one came out in 1977 so my brother must have introduced me to it becuase I do remember seeing Return of the Jedi in 1983.

I'm not one of those people who discusses SW minutia. In fact, if you ask me about SW I will probably say that I love it and leave it at that. To really know how I feel about the movies, you have to watch them with me. I go into a whole other dimension and all of my problems fall away.

Since people always ask, I like the movies in this order:

Empire Strikes Back
Revenge of the Sith
A New Hope
Return of the Jedi
Attack of the Clones
Phantom Menance

And EVERYONE should see Clone Wars. They explain what's going on between II and III.

So, I'm bringing up SW becuase I think I have finally proven my true devotion. On Friday I got a Star Wars tattoo. No, it doesn't say "Star Wars." I had been thinking about it for over a year and just decided to go do it.

It hurt. A lot. It took forever and I had the shakes afterwards.

I'm sort of shocked at myself. It was a totally non-Emily thing to do.

I'll post pictures when I have them and yes, I am super excited about the new stamps.

Administration

On Thursday of this week, I truly became and administrator. The previous day I had two meetings in one day. The meetings were not overly long, but I had to focus on them and they detracted from my reference work.

But it was on Thursday when everything came crashing down. I was exhausted and running around all day and I hit true administratorness: I wasn't able to get any work done until after business hours. I was planning to work late into the evening anyway but I would have had to stay even if I hadn't planned to do so.

When I got up from my desk (to go to an 8:00 class) I knew something was different.

I think I've finally earned my title: Associate Director.

Annoying Questions

< rant >
One of my least favorite reference questions are the geneological digging types: "My uncle graduated from your school, do you have any info on him?"

I HATE them. The answer I want to give is "No, I don't have any information on your uncle who graduate in 1853. Does your college have your papers? Of course not. Only if you're famous or something."

I generally say something like "Unfortunately, we do not keep any former students papers unless they specifically deposit them here at the time of their death."

But then there's always a comeback. "Well, how about a yearbook? Pictures of his class?"

This stuff sounds simple but it is REALLY time consuming and involves a lot of flipping and digging and snooping in the archives because you often trying to prove a negative: No, we DON'T have a picture of your uncle.

Voting

I have no idea who I'm voting for in the Democratic primary and I'm very excited about it.

I like Obama and Clinton and Edwards. They all have different strengths and weaknesses. I kind of wish they could all be on the same ticket.

I find Obama's meteoric rise intriguing. When I lived in Hyde Park, I used to see him every Sunday at the Co-op pushing his little girl around in a cart buying groceries. Mostly I remember that he was really hot and the buying food and the little girl just made him hotter.

But he wasn't very exciting. Being a Harvard grad, law school professor etc., etc., is not that interesting in Hyde Park. It's kind of like saying you have a Nobel Prize and have connections to the UofC. A dime a dozen.

I was living in Bobby Rush's district when Obama ran against him. I voted for Rush becuase his official Congressional bio states: Founder- Illinois Black Panther Party. That is awesome.

And now that guy who I used to see in the grocery store is a contender for President. A black man (yes, I know there's controversy about this but it's stupid...you only know Obama is biracial b/c when he tells you) is running for president.

On the other hand Clinton has pretty good positions on the issues. I'm secretly hoping that if she DOES become president she'll ram through a single-payer health care plan. I can dream. But, her vote on the Iraq war and her refusal to say she was wrong bothers me.

I also agree with Edwards on the issues. But somehow, I think he'd be better at a cabinet position (AG or Heath and Human Services) than as president.

I keep coming back to Obama. He's just something different. Maybe what we really need right now is, in fact, a president whose middle name is Hussein (boy, does that describe Barack) and spent some time at a madrassa.

More on Trip...with Pictures

On Wednesday we had a late start and went to the old city. This is a picture of me by the Damascus Gate which leads to Arab East Jerusalem. The old city has 8 gates and I think Dana and I saw all of them.

This is the view of Old Jerusalem from the Mount of Olives. You can see the Golden Gate which will open when the Messiah comes (or comes back depending on your point of veiw.)

On Thursday my cousin and I went to Akko. I already talked about the ridiculously long trip to get there. It was really quite beautiful. The middle picture is of one of the aqueducts. The one to the right shows the citadel walls and the Mediterranean Sea.

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So posting with pictures is proving much more difficult than I realized.  All of my pictures are on my Flickr page.  I'll tag them so you know what you're looking at.

I had a wonderful time on my trip.  Since I love lists here are some things I discovered:

1. Israel is still a crazy country.  It's hard to describe how many different types of people live in Israel.  There are Jews from all over the world, Arab Israelis who are both Christian and Muslim, as well as a whole bunch of people who are basically imported cheap labor.  It was really surprising how Asians there were in Tel Aviv.  When I was on my way home the guy after me in the line was Asian and he spoke Hebrew to all the guards. We saw a bunch of kids at McDonald's running around and a woman told them to go sit back down...in Hebrew.  Those kids are growing up as religious minority in a Jewish state.  This is something that has never been true before.

2. The security there is ridculously tight.  There are guards outside of cafes, restaurants, grocery stores and you have to go through a metal detactor and have your bags x-rayed to get into the bus station.  I spoke in Hebrew as much as possible to every security person I saw. Particularly at the border between the West Bank and Jerusalem. It's scary to have someone come up to the car with an M-16 and peer inside at you then seem a little confused.  I always had my passport at the ready.

3.  The best hummus in Jerusalem is at Lina's on the Via Dolorosa in the Old City.  EVERYBODY eats there Palestinians and Israelis.  Everybody.  My last day I saw two guys there, one was Israeli and the other was Arab, discussing how they could get their kids to meet each other.  It was like a 
little peace summit with excellent hummus.

4.  You can not get falafel in West Jerusalem on Friday night.  Don't even bother trying.
As the Arab-Israeli kid we ran into said (in Hebrew) "everything is closed for the Jews."  (Then he said "what's your name? where are you from? how do you know Hebrew?" It was an interesting encounter. He didn't know English and was quite pleased that I spoke to him in Hebrew.

5. Never ask for directions in a foreign language unless you're prepared to understand a quick answer.

6. Windows on trains work like mirrors so you can't take seruptitious pictures of cute guys.  They will see you.

7.  There is a lot of good, cheap wine and it tastes even better with "http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hookah">nargillah.

As you can see from below, I spent most of my time talking to my cousin and getting to know her better.  That was the best part of the trip.

Even more hanging around

Yesterday we got lost several times in the Old City. The city isn't all that big but it twists and turns and some places have LOTS of tourists while others have almost none. It's also strange becuase you can feel the tension in the air in some places. In the middle of the Muslim Quarter you find Israeli flags. There are NO Muslims in the Jewish Quarter. But pretty much everyone walks throught the Christian and Armenian Quarter.

My cousin kept asking me how I could tell the difference between Palestinians, Arab Israelis and Israelis. I couldn't really explain it to her. The Palestinian men dress and style their hair a little differently (the women tend to wear hijab.) I think she found the fact that many of the Jewish Israelis are, in fact, Arabs kind of strange. "How do you know who the enemy is?" she asked. You don't always.

I am currently sitting in a Christian Arab internet cafe and they are playing the Boriqua song. Crazy.

Today I'm going to shop and then head home.

More sights...

We've been taking it easy the last few days. Yesterday we walked went to East Jerusalem and visited the Cathedral of St. George which is the Anglican church in Jerusalem. After that, we went to the Garden Tomb which Protestants tend to accept as Jesus' last resting place rather than the Church of the Holy Sepulchre. We went to two crusader church ruins and then had a wonderful lunch in the Aremenian Quarter.

Last night was Shabbat so we there wasn't too much to do. We just kind of wandered around. Then we went to Tmol Shlsholm possibly one of the best cafes anywhere in the world.

I can't believe how relaxing this trip has been. I certainly wasn't expecting it.

Takin' it easy....

Yesterday we went to the Israel Museum. I had forgotten how beautiful the Shrine of the Book is. It was nice to see the Dead Sea Scrolls and the Aleppo Codex. Unfortunately, the archaeology wing was CLOSED. i really wanted to see the pomegranate from Solomon's time but no dice.

Then my cousin and I wandered around one of the parks and talked about life.

We went to the old city and had the best hummus in the whole world at Lena's in the Christian Quarter. Then back to the new city to city at an outdoor bar to drink wine and smoke nargila for about 3 hours.

A very nice, relaxing day.

Running Around Israel and a Quick Jaunt to the West Bank

My late start day ended up being pretty great. After going to the internet cafe in Jerusalem, Dana and I walked through the Arab suq to the Damascus Gate and caught a taxi up the Mount of Olives. A few of the churches were closed but we did make it to one of my favorites--Pater Noster. It's a modern Franciscan church with a beautiful view of the Dome of the Rock.

Then our real adventure began. At the bottom of the mountain (really a hill) we decided to take a taxi back to the hill. We got in and our taxi drive (an Arab-Israeli) offered to take us to Bethlehem. This is, of course, a good way to make easy money. $70 was a little expensive but he offered us a ride there and back AND a tour guide. I really wanted to see how Palestinean Territories (West Bank) had changed since I went there.

We ran into a lot of traffic. Tons. But we finally made it. I didn't see the controversial wall although I'm sure it was nearby. You only have to go through security to get into Israel. Not to get out.

Construction was so bad that we had to go through Beit Jalla (a West Bank city of mostly Arab Christians) and we only had ten minutes to spare when we got to Manger Square in Bethelehem.
We ran to the the church and then sped through the sites. Our tour guide kept saying "Please hurry." But we made it to all the little chapels. Just in time since the Franciscan monk closed the doors right after us.

Then, as usually, we enjoyed the hospitality of one of the storekeepers that our driver new. Yummy tea and (ridiculously strong) wine. Of course I bought something...you just can't help it.

Yesterday we went to Akko. That sounds simple, but it invovled a shared taxi, a bus, a train and then another taxi. Then the same on the way back. We traveled for about 4 hours each way. Akko still has its crusader walls intact and is right on the Mediterranean. It was actually quite lovely. We were wiped out at the end of the day and stumbled to our hotel.

One thing hat really surprised me was Tel Aviv. There are way more Asians than I remembered from a year. It has really become a multi-cultural city.

In Jerusalem

I'm currently in an internet cafe in the old city in Jerusalem. My flight was uneventful but much to long. After six hours I was ready to come down.

It's weird being here. The city hasn't changed that much but being here as a tourist is a lot different from living here. There's so much to pack in. Yesterday we made it to the Western Wall and the church of the Holy Sepulchre. Today our jet lag kicked in and we didn't make it out until...let's just say it was late.

My cousin and I have gotten into about 3 "discussions" on culture, the Israeli state, the place of women, etc. These often involve yelling but end well.

Today we're going to try to make it to the mount of olives.

I'll try to post when I can.

A Word on the Title

The title of the blog is from my friend Simon.
One day he said something along the lines of "Books. Star Wars. Skirts. Emily in a nutshell."

I'll start from the end--Skirts.

I grew up wearing skirts and dresses and other girly stuff. My favorite outfit all through high school was a maroon suede skirt that I thought I looked particularly hot in. I wore it to church a lot.

Then I went to Smith. There's not a lot of skirt wearing there and I slowly adopted a soft butch look. I already had short hair and I just supplemented it with guys jeans, combat boots, and flannel shirts.

When I went to Israel for my Junior year I had one long skirt for going to religious places and a short one for partying. But I was not a skirt wearer. Not until I met MMOG guy sometime in 2000.

I hadn't dated in a really long time. REALLY LONG. I met MMOG online and we went on a date. He mentioned that he, like most guys, liked girls in skirts. I decided to conduct an experiment. I bought a skirt and wore it. I got a lot of attention on the next date.

I also realized that skirts are perfect for pear-shaped girls. And they're pretty.

So now, I have this full blown skirt fetish. I particularly love all the (overpriced) ones at Anthropologie.
I almost always wear a skirt to work. Sometimes I get a shocked "You're wearing pants!" when I don't wear one.

Of course, I still have friends who have never seen me in a skirt b/c I don't wear them much on weekends. This post will not make much sense to them. They just have to trust me.

Okay,
I haven't been on in a while. But I've been kind of busy. I did get an A- in 390. It brought my grade point average down by 3 one hundreths of a point. I now have a 3.978. Oh well.

Web Design is kicking people's buts. I'm trying to get as much done as possible while I'm there so I don't have to worry about it.

Must keep this thing going.

Okay,
So today I had my first day of Web Design. Or should I say my first day of Web Design Boot Camp. (How much can you learn in a month?)

So the ironic (no, no that's not right) the strange coincedence is one of the projects is for the Prairieland Council of the Boy Scouts of America where my friend Jonathan works. It was very bizzare to go to their website and see his name there.
It's like when Genesis worked for the company that K&E did lots of pro bono work for. I would see her name all the time.

Not much else happend. I think I'm getting 3 As and 1 A- for Spring 2003. Stupid 390.

I'm just seeing how this thing works. I'm a little unsure.
Okay, for some reason it's 12:21 a.m. and I suddenly decided that I needed to make a blog for myself.

As far as I can tell this is becuase I found I was using my AIM profile as a blog. Current messages on my profile include:

Hmmm, could it be a job......
General Theological Seminary

Where is my 390 final. Need to know my grades.


Sangria is good. Yummy!!!!

These are not appropriate things for a profile. So I started a blog. I hope you enjoy it.

Back?

It's been years since I've written anything. I still love books and Star Wars but I don't wear many skirts. I think I've gained about 15 pounds in grad school so far.

My proposal has been approved and I'm working diligently on my dissertation. It's going okay. At the moment I'm transcribing hearings and interviews. I'm thinking about tweeting my research since I should probably be more active on Twitter.

I think i'll pop in every so often to write something. I find the whole Republican party mess fascinating and I'm crossing my fingers for an Obama victory in November.

In any case, Happy New Year!